An Informative Delirium
by Batman'sBeauty18
Summary: A tag to Sateda. Ronon’s friends get an inside look at his past though his delirious ramblings as he fights the infection raging through his body. No slash, no ship. Temporarily on hold.
1. Bloody Twitchy

_**Summary: A tag to Sateda. Ronon's friends get an inside look at his past though his delirious mumblings as he fights the infection raging through his body. No slash or ship, Ronon/Team, Ronon/Weir friendship, Ronon/Carson friendship.** _

_**Disclaimer: If they were mine then the episode would have included this and I would not have to write it. Since you are reading it, I wrote it, so therefore they are not mine. **_

_**Archive: Sure, but let me know.**_

**A/N: Another whumping fic, this time I am trying out the SGA crown and hopefully they will be as supportive as the House, MD crowd. I was so frusturated that no one wrote a tag to Sateda that dealt with Ronon's injuries, espcially since if an episode ended with John, Rodney, or even Teyla passing out there would be at least three fics addressing it the next day. Just because Ronon's got dreadlocks and is over 6ft doesn't mean he is unwhumpable! Anways, I know the ep. was a while ago but I could not let this idea die. If this gets good reveiws, I already have a tag to Common Ground in the works. Anways, I want to show an angstier side of Ronon, without getting out of character, so please let me know if I suceeded. And yes, I am going to invent some more about Ronon's past, but it will fit in snuggly next to what we already know about him. Enjoy!**

Rodney hurriedly clambered back into the driver's seat of the Jumper and contacted the Daedalus, letting them know that they were only a few minutes away and that the tracking device was being disabled. He glanced back over his shoulder to see Teyla and John struggling to turn Ronon over and get his shirt off.

Carson took Ronon's pulse while John and Teyla eased off Ronon's armor and shirt. He frowned at the thready, weak beat beneath his fingers and winced as he saw the angry red wound stretching down the runner's already scarred back. He reached into his medical bag and pulled out a syringe with a strong sedative, but hesitated with it in his hand. He then decisively plunged the syringe into the Satedan's neck and administered less then half of the syringe. Normally he would have given a man of Ronon's size almost three times that amount, but Carson suspected a head injury and did not want to push his luck without knowing exactly why Ronon was unconscious.

He swabbed the man's back with alcohol, cleaning away dried blood from the wound. He used a scalpel to carefully retrace the mark down the man's back and extract the device. He gave the tracking device to McKay, who had handed over the driver's seat to Sheppard for the approach and landing. McKay easily deactivated the device and let his glance settle on the unconscious man who suddenly started to seem a little less unconscious.

Carson felt Ronon tense beneath his fingers, heard his low moan, and started cursing all "bloody stubborn lads who just couldn't do as they were told and stay unconscious."

Ronon awoke to fire. His back was burning, a thin line of pain stretching from below his shoulder to his mid back. The wound in his leg throbbed in time to pounding of his head, and a deep ache had settled itself on his shoulder. By far the worse was his chest, and it felt like someone had set off a grenade in his ribcage. He realized that he was lying on his stomach, and tried to roll onto his side to alleviate some of the pressure.

He felt the doctor's gloved hands holding him still and relaxed as much as he could.

"Chest hurts." Ronon muttered blearily, still struggling to shake off the affects of the drug. The same gloved hands, plus Teyla's supporting arm, gently rolled him onto his back. Ronon gasped sharply as his head and shoulder protested the move. Carson, hearing his intake of breath and seeing a grimace mar the man's fierce features, turned away from his patient to grab a syringe of morphine. He moved swiftly and slightly abruptly, not with the usual calm and soothing movements of the normally unflappable doctor.

Ronon used his good arm to prop himself up on his elbow, eliciting a low groan from the injured man. He pointedly ignored Teyla's disproving look. Carson whirled around at the sound, and opened his mouth to protest. Before he could however, Ronon cut him off.

"Hey doc," Ronon said, "you okay?" McKay, Teyla, and, Carson were all taken off guard by the absurdity of the question; here the runner was laying bloodied and bruised and Carson had not even been on the planet. Seeing their open mouthed stares, Ronon elaborated.

"You look..." he paused searching for the correct word, "twitchy."

Carson stared at the Satedan with a mixture of anger, frustration, disbelief, and pity. "Twitchy?" He repeated incredulously. "I'm on a ship, trying to operate on a lad who refuses to remain unconscious, and the bloody Wraith are shooting at us, so excuse me if yes...I am a wee bit twitchy!" Beckett practically yelled. Teyla was taken aback by the doctor's outburst, and by the bright red color Carson's face was turning.

"I believe Ronon was merely commenting that you look slightly more aggravated then usual." Teyla's soothing voice calmed down the irate doctor and he glanced at her apologetically.

"Right lass, thank you."

"We're a minute away Carson." McKay shouted from the cockpit, where he was sitting with John.

"I want a medical team and a stretcher waiting when we get there." Carson shouted back to McKay, ignoring Ronon's absurd protests that he could walk by himself.

Turning back to Ronon, he once again grabbed the syringe and in one swift motion plunged the needle into the big man's arm, fully depressing the plunger. He saw Ronon's startled look quickly turn to one of betrayal before his eyelids closed and he sank back into Teyla's lap.


	2. Machetes, Teeth, and an Irate Scot

**A/N: Okay, so I know this chapter is short and is a filler chapter, but I wanted a little humor before I went back to the angst. Next chapter should be up asap. Hope you enjoy, and thanks to everyone who reviewed. Also, please let me know if Carson's accent is coming out accurately, I'm sooo not good at doing accents.**

A moment later a soft bang was followed by the clang of the rear hatch hitting the floor of the Daedalus. Between John, Carson, and the awaiting medical personal, Ronon was gently lifted onto the stretcher and quickly wheeled towards the med bay with the rest of his anxious team in tow.

The barrage of medical personnel waiting at the med bay cut off John's view of Ronon, and any further attempts to catch a glimpse of the runner lying prone on the gurney were interrupted by the nurse pulling him over to a gurney on the other side of the room. He looked at the rest of his team, noticing that they were receiving the same treatment. Only Rodney was allowed to remain in the waiting area, as he had not exited the puddle jumper. John sat impatiently threw his post mission exam, craning his neck around Ronon's privacy curtain to try to catch a glimpse of the man. Finally the nurse released both him and Teyla and ushered them to the waiting area where McKay was sitting and waiting.

Rodney merely glanced up from his laptop and mumbled something incoherent at their approach before once again immersing himself in whatever he had been working on.

It was hours before Carson finally came back out, looking completely exhausted and grim faced. Before McKay could even open his mouth, Carson cut him off.

"He's stable. He sustained a badly bruised collarbone, a mild concussion, and of course I had to finish stitching up his back. He also had 3 broken and 2 bruised ribs, and a bruised lung. My biggest concern is the bloody hole in his leg. Apparently a large piece of glass was wedged in his right leg and he must have pulled it out himself. It took me three damn hours to cut all the shards of glass free without permanently damaging any of the muscle. There's a chance of infection for the leg wound, considering that I highly doubt he used anything sterile to pull out the glass. I have him on a high dose on anti-biotics to try and stave off any infection, but there is still a chance it could get infected. And, bloody hell! Yes, you can see him!" Carson concluded having seen John nearly bouncing up and down waiting for the final verdict.

McKay bounded ahead of the rest of the team, expecting to see Ronon asleep. Instead, the runner was sitting up in bed, using the gurney's metal guardrail to sharpen a scalpel that he had obviously confiscated from the doctor.

John, Teyla, and Carson were speechless at the sight that greeted them, but Rodney, as usual, had plenty to say.

"What the hell are you doing? That's one of Carson's voodoo toys, not a freaking machete!"

"He took all of my knives." Ronon said, shooting a glare at the Scottish doctor. John would have sworn that for a second, just one second, he had seen the runner actually pout.

Carson quickly swooped in and snatched the scalpel from the big man's hands. Having lost his brand new toy, Ronon turned his attention to John.

"Sheppard," he said, drawing the man's attention from the scalpel back to the Satedan, " hold on to this for me." Ronon held out his hand to John, and in his outstretched palm there was a tooth. A large, non-human, vicious looking tooth. They all stared at it in horror struck curiosity before John broke the silence.

"Is it...his?" John asked, the implication being that it belonged to the Wraith that Carson had killed.

"Yeah." Ronon flashed a primal grin. "I thought I'd get a souvenir. Bout time I made a new necklace."

Once again the area surrounding Ronon's bed was silent before Carson finally decided to once again take control of the situation.

"Out! Now! All of you lot." He barked. They left quietly, hearing Carson once again mutter to himself, this time about Wraith teeth and scalpels.


	3. Rayella

**A/N: Normally I would divide this into 2 chapters, but I felt bad it took me so long to update so I'm posting them together. I was paticularly frusturated by the episode Phantoms, becuase there is NO WAY that Ronon, after surviving the Wrait for SEVEN (read...seven) years then gets shot by Sheppard, I don't care if Sheppard thinks he's an Iraqi or the boogeyman. Its impossible. Ronon should have been able to kill Sheppard easily! I might have to write a tag to Phantoms explaining this...hmmm.**

Ronon was coming to save her, like always. He had told her it was suicide, that Rayella would not be able to save them once the Wraith came. She had told him that as doctor and a military officer it was her duty, just as it was his to fight. That was typical Rayella, constantly comparing herself to her big brother. She had always looked up to Ronon, even as a little girl, so when Ronon had come home and announced that he was enlisting in the military, she had immediately gone and done the same. However, where Ronon wanted to fight on the front lines, Rayella had no desire to kill. Instead she went to medical school before enlisting, and served as a doctor to the injured soldiers. She proudly stood next to her brother, but where he had a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, she had a scalpel and a hypodermic needle.

Finally, he was there. He had just watched his entire troop fall at the hands of the Wraith, had watched as they bled before his eyes. Their blood ran down the streets, staining them, damning them. And with every drop spilt another curse towards the Wraith was uttered, another vow that their sacrifice was not in vain. He ran harder then he had ever had, trying to reach his sister before the Wraith did. And then suddenly he stopped, because there was no more need to run. She was there, lying in the streets, her beautiful fire-colored hair as red as the blood that ran from her side. He raced over to her, cradling her head in his lap. She awoke, to see her brother's strong face hovering over her.

"What are you doing? Go. I'm dead whether you stay or not." She said, putting all her remaining strength into her voice.

"I'm not leaving you. Melena would kill me." He joked weakly. Rayella and Melena had been best friends since school; Rayella had set him up on a blind date with Melena, and they had hit it off immediately. Two years later, at the celebration where they had prmoised themselves to each other, Rayella had been right by Melena's side telling her stories about Ronon as a baby to help keep her nerves in check.

"The blast hit my spine Ronon. Even if you somehow managed to stop the bleeding, I'd be paralyzed. Kell is only going to take those who can best serve him through the gate; you know that. I either die here, an honorable death amongst soldiers, or I die abandoned in a hospital bed. Please, leave and let me die knowing I saved my brother."

"I'm not leaving my baby sister to die among the Wraith. I'll carry you, just like I always have." Ronon stooped down to pick her up when he noticed a large piece of metal protruding from the ground. It continued up, and pierced through Rayella's torso.

"You pick me up and I die, the shrapnel is the only thing preventing me from bleeding out completely. I'm dead Ronon, but the Almighty One has been kind enough to grant us a chance to say goodbye."

"Rayella..."

"Ronon, go. Please! You can't save me but you can save others if you continue to fight...find Melena for me...Please! Do it for me."

"I'm sorry. I should have gotten here sooner this is my fault..." He glanced down at her ravaged body, noticing that she no longer drew breath.

"Rayella? RAYELLA!" He shouted the last part. Suddenly, Sateda was gone. He was in a small room, a bland room, with a man with blue eyes and an odd voice hovering over him.

"You killed my sister!" He shouted at the man. He tried to get up, but hands held him down. He fought with everything, fury pounding through every bone in his body like fire and then suddenly he was on fire. He could feel himself burning from the inside, a combination of heat and pain and just as soon it was gone and he felt no more.

Elizabeth had never seen anything like that in her life.

As soon as the Daedalus has entered orbit around Atlantis, she had gotten a message saying that everyone was more or less intact, and that Ronon was in need of the more advanced medical equipment on Atlantis. Carson, John, Teyla, Rodney and a sedated Ronon had been beamed directly to the infirmary. Elizabeth ran to meet them and took one look at the grim faced doctor before running over to where Ronon was laying. Carson had told her about his head, shoulder, back, chest and leg, and informed him that Ronon had developed a "bloody nasty" infection during the trip back. She had taken turns with the rest of the team sitting next to Ronon's bed. She had been the one to alert Carson when Ronon had started moving restlessly, and soon McKay, Sheppard and Teyla were anxiously waiting next to her. They had not understood when he mumbled something about some "Melena" killing him, but they had understood when he said something else about not leaving his sister. God, they didn't even know he had had a sister! His admission of guilt to something that was most likely not his fault had not surprised them, but the gut-wrenching cry of "Rayella" and the half-sobbed accusation aimed at Carson had. He had started to thrash on the gurney, and it took all of them to hold him down while Carson administered a stronger sedative.

Carson had been quick to assure them that the delirium was because of the high fever Ronon was currently running, which was caused by the infection. So far the antibiotics had not been having the desired effect, which was making Beckett a wee bit "twitchy" as Ronon would put it.

Carson stared down at the large man in front of him. It was unnatural to see the normally leather clad runner in scrubs, and even more unnatural to see him so still. Ronon always seemed to be in motion, not like Rodney's jerky, nervous fiddling. Ronon always moved with a purpose, whether checking his gun, fighting, walking, sitting, some part of him always moved.

Carson hated the shivers that periodicly wracked Ronon's body. It was wrong, not jsut because a body with a temperature of over 103 should not be cold, but because the unnecassary movement was so unlike the big man.

He heard the quiet sound of shoes padding along the floor startled him, and he turned around to find Teyla and Rodney entering the infirmary. Rodney had a guilty and annoyed look on his face and Carson shot them a questioning look.

Teyla elaborated, "I thought it would do no harm to ensure that Rodney arrived for his examination."

Carson realized that Teyla had caught Rodney trying to evade his scheduled check-up.

"I'm fine. I even sat down today, so there's no need to poke me with your toys." McKay said shortly, before both he and Teyla walked over towards where Ronon lay. Teyla's slightly amused expression disappeared at the sight of the Satedian, and she studied his face.


	4. The Child that Never Was

**A/N: I kept rewriting this, but I can't help but feel that this came out horribly and is not well written. I really don't like how it flows, but I need to get this chapter up so I can continue. Sorry for the delay, and please excuse the ickiness.**

Teyla had been pregnant once. The father was a young man she had fallen in love with. She had met him during the summer harvest, when they were both young, about 17 earth years. They had fallen in love, and on the eve before he was to go back to his own village they had made love and vowed to find each other during the Planting, a month or two away. They did, and that was when Teyla had told him that she pregnant. Pregnancies and births were the most celebrated events amongst her people because they meant that someone had defied the Wraith, survived long enough to reproduce and give birth. Teyla's father had been proud, and as a gift gave her the necklace his wife, Teyla's mother, had left behind before being culled by the Wraith. It was only a few days later that the Wraith came and although she managed to escape, the stunner blast she took combined with the stress of watching her father being taken and her lover being fed upon caused her to miscarry and lose her child. Her first instinct was to seek revenge on the Wraith, to hunt them down and kill them but the Ancestors had shown her another path. It was on her 18th birthday that the village elders had asked her to be their new seer, the one with the responsibility to foretell the Wraith's coming. It was a huge honor and came with much pressure, as the village's seer had always been their unofficial leader, a person to look up to in times of need. They had recognized the ability within her and helped her to focus it and use it, instead of letting it use her. She realized that she could avenge her child by trying to prevent as much death as possible, and in time had come to a peace of sorts within herself.

She wanted all to know that peace, yet she knew that the Earthlings were far from it. They were too new, too angry, their experiences and feelings too recent and raw to understand that you could be at peace even while hating. Being angry all the time was exhausting, it was why she had seen John collapse on the couch in rec. room from time to time, pretending to read yet not turning the page for hours. It was why Rodney worked too hard, too much, and with little rest. It was why Ronon always looked like he was either about to fight or flee, why he spent half his day running around Atlantis and the other half fighting in the training room. Elizabeth was the only one that she understand, the only one that realized it would take more then hate and righteous anger to beat the Wraith.

Out of all of the Earthlings, Elizabeth was closest to finding that peace within her. John, she knew, would one day find some contentment in his life, as would Rodney. But Ronon...Ronon's entire adulthood had been based on the premise that he would be lucky to survive another day. His only reason for living had been to kill the Wraith once he found out that Sateda had been destroyed. Teyla had never told anyone this, not even Ronon, but the night after Ronon had seen the decimation of his home world on the small screen in the control room, Teyla had gone to see him. She had peeked in the door to make sure she was not waking him and had seen him sitting on the bed, staring intently at a knife held to his wrist. The knife was pressed down hard enough to make a small scratch, and as Teyla watched breathless, Ronon's face had twisted into a fierce look of hatred and he had stabbed the knife down into the bedding beneath him. Teyla had let out a long breath, before silently turning and walking the other way down the hall.

It was with these thoughts swimming through her head that she regarded Ronon's slightly thrashing form carefully.

"Why aren't you packing?" Ronon demanded, dropping her suitcase on their bed. "I traded every last thing we had to get you on Kell's personal staff."

"He's a criminal. He's using people's fear for his own gain." Melena responded, her voice filled with disgust.

"He's a commander, and his staff gets to go through the Gate."

"The hospital's going to need me."

"There's not going to be any need for hospitals, Melena! That's just a bunch of words meant to make the people who don't get to leave think there's a chance for them. We shot down two ships that came through the Gate. Two small ships. Do you really think that's all they're going to send?" He barely heard her mumbled reply before continuing his tirade. "Ships as big as our city have attacked other planets. No one that stays here is going to survive."

Ronon was frustrated. Melena was being stubborn, and although it was one of things he admired about her, one of the reasons he married her, right now it was also going to kill her. How could he convince her that it was foolish for her to remain behind? He had tried to convince his sister, and had failed. She had gone to the front lines as a doctor, to take care of the wounded and had been killed. He had tried to protect her, but had failed her too. He had not yet told Melena, and she would be devastated.

"They killed Rayella; an innocent woman who was only there trying to save other people. And they didn't even kill her; they left her there to die a slow painful death. I watched her die. If they could do that, do you really think that you are safe just because you're a good person, or because you're a woman, or because you're pregnant? They don't care Melena! You have to go. Go through the ring, and have our daughter. Name her Rayella; tell her stories of her brave and beautiful aunt. Melena...go and give our child a chance to be born, a chance to live in a world that is not constantly plagued by the Wraith."

"I...I...can't Ronon. How could I tell our child how I abandoned our people and followed the command of a traitor just to save myself? I'm sorry Ronon...but I can't." With that, Melena kissed Ronon softly on the cheek before walking out the door towards the hospital.

Ronon stood there, and watched her go. He whirled around and grabbed the suitcase, hurling it across the room. He smashed the mirror hanging on the wall, picked up the glass pitcher from the kitchen counter and slammed it on the ground, taking out his anger towards Melena for refusing to leave, his anger towards Rayella for dying not being here to make Melena leave, his anger towards Kell for betraying them, and most of all his anger towards the Wraith for torturing him like this, letting him live and see everyone around him die. Having run out of things in his immediate sight to break, he sprinted out of their house towards the barracks, where his troop was waiting.


End file.
